Changing Direction
by ShyLibra
Summary: They've changed. They know too much about each other now. How will they make amends? Blaine and Sam had alot to come to terms with. Will they be able to work through this, or will they be faced with another situation? Rated "M" just for in case.
1. Chap Stick

**A/N: **I've decided to add this "one shot" as the first chapter to this story.

This scene is set in S5E04.

Please review and let me know what you thoughts are.

I do not own Glee or the characters.

*****GLEE*****

"Uhm, dude, what was that?"

I froze immediately. How was I going to explain this? "Chap Stick, what else?", I said, hoping Sam wouldn't hear the crack in my voice.

In actual fact, that was me, getting a bit aroused due to the closeness of my best friend. We'd just finished our Gaga performance and were all hyped up. This was the first hug we shared since he confronted me about me crushing on him. He is okay with having a homosexual as best friend, even though the said homo had a crush on him, but I doubt he would be as forgiving if I rubbed my arousal against his leg…

"Snap, could I use some?" came Sam's response.

Luckily I had Chap Stick in my other pocket, so I took it out and handed it to him.

"Cherry, my favorite." he said after applying some to his lips (those gorgeous, enormous, lovely, plush, full, kissable… STOP BLAINE!) and putting the small tube in his own pocket.

*****GLEE*****

I couldn't stop thinking about the events earlier. I could still smell Sam so close to me, could still feel his hard body pressing against mine as we hugged it out, as friends.

"Blaine," came Mom's voice from the other side of my bedroom door, breaking me from my reverie, "supper is ready."

I don't know whether I had a coherent conversation at the dinner table, but at least I was back in my room and I did not have to pretend to be paying attention to any conversation that did not involve Sam.

I got undressed, grabbed my towel and entered the bathroom. Waiting for the shower water to be just the right temperature, I was once again thinking of my blond friend. There must be something wrong with me? No one can be as obsessed with someone else as I am with Sam. But, I could not help reliving that moment. I felt so comfortable and safe, if only for those mere 5 seconds.

I realized that the bathroom was all steamed up and I was standing naked, with Chap Stick in my pocked, like I did this afternoon. Blushing to myself, I got in the shower and cleansed my body and my thoughts.

After drying my hair with the towel (darn these curls) I saw the flashing red light on my mobile. Tapping the screen to life, and opening the new text message, I freeze. It's Sam… _Dude, sry bout this afternoon_… my heart started pounding in my chest. Sorry about what? So many thoughts going through my mind that I cannot concentrate on any one specific… _I took ur Chap Stick by accident, can I stop by and give it to u?_

I jump at the unexpected knock on my door.

"Blaine," Mom says "Sam's here, he said he had to bring you a book for school."

Oh, he's here? And me, I'm wrapped in my towel and I've got a fluffy animal on my head… oh no, he can't see me like this!

Before I could move from my spot, the door creeks open and Sam's blond head peeks through the opening.

"Blaine, can I come in?"

"Yeah, uhm, sure Sam, come in. Thanks Mom."

"Hope you're not mad, but since you didn't reply to my text I decided to come anyway."

"Not at all Sam, but you didn't have to come all this way at this time just to bring me my Chap Stick, you could've kept those."

"Oh, thanks, don't mind if I do." Sam said with a smile, and closed the door behind him.

Being alone in my room with him, me in only a towel, makes my heart race in my chest. Why do I have these (unrequited) feelings for this boy?

"So, what book did you bring me? I can't remember forgetting one at school?"

Sam looked confused. "Huh? Oh! Yes, that… I thought telling your mom that I brought your Chap Stick might sound silly, so I had to make up some lame story. It does sound silly stopping by just to return Chap Stick, doesn't it?" Sam asked, looking down and running his fingers through his blond hair.

"You're right, it does sound silly." I laughed, feeling a blush creep up on my cheeks. _What am I blushing for?_

Sam moved across from the door and went to sit on the edge of my bed, head in his hands. I couldn't quite understand his posture. I couldn't see his face, so I didn't know what Sam was thinking.

"Sam, are you okay?" I asked, walking around the bed to where he is sitting. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I could feel my friend shaking, as if he's crying. "Sam, what wrong? Please Sammy, talk to me?"

He looked up at me with his eyes red from crying. I could not bear seeing my best friend like this. As I went to sit down next to him, my arm around his shoulder and about to pull him into a comforting hug, Sam jumped up, "Please don't, Blainy, you'll make it worse. I don't want to hurt you."

Hurt me? Why would he want to hurt me? Did he know all along that I lied about the Chap Stick? Is Sam really so upset with me that he would beat me up?

"Sam, please, tell me what I did? Why are you so upset with me. If it is about this afternoon, please…"

"YES BLAINE, it is about this afternoon" Sam yelled at me. "How could this happen? Why was I so stupid to think it could never happen?"

Scared by Sam's anger, I stood up from the bed and took one step away from him. My head was spinning. I'd known that Sam wouldn't like knowing I got aroused by our hug, but I had no idea he'd act up like this. I couldn't help remembering the group of guys who beat us up after the dance in my junior year. I felt a sudden panic and wanted to leave the room, get away from Sam, downstairs to the safety of my parents.

Sam must have sensed my panic, got up from the bed and was now standing right between me and the only exit. He looked shocked, worried, sad, angry… all at the same time.

"Sorry Blainy, I didn't mean to frighten you. I am the one frightened. Frightened by the feelings that were awoken in me today…"

"Sam, why don't come downstairs with me? I'll make us some coffee and we can talk about this."

"No Blaine, I want to be alone with you. I need to tell you something. Something I was sure I'd never have to speak about again."

Sam took my hand and led me to the edge of the bed. We sat down, next to each other, both looking at the floor. I've got no idea what to say, how to break the silence, how to make my friend feel better. I will wait for him to start talking, as soon as he is ready.

We sat like this for nearly a minute when Sam broke the silence. "Before we moved to Lima, we lived in an even smaller town. Everybody knew everybody. The town had one school. I grew up with our neighbor's three sons. They were all older than me. The youngest brother was two years older than me. Dylan. We used to be very close.

"I was thirteen. One evening, my parents had to attend a function with dad's work. It wasn't unusual for me to sleep over at the Brooks' when my parents went out. Dylan and I were up in his room, playing games when he leaned in and gave me a kiss on my cheek."

Sam paused and I looked up. He had his eyes closed, remembering that night. I didn't want to interrupt his memory, so I stayed quiet.

"I wasn't upset with Dylan, I actually liked it, so I gave him a kiss on his cheek too. We smiled at each other and continued our game.

"That was the only time ever that I had physical contact with another boy. Dylan and myself continued to be best friends. Nothing changed between us. But, inside, I changed. I loved Dylan. I never thought of acting on my feelings for Dylan, but they never disappeared.

"Dylan started dating girls, and so did I. We used to go out on double dates and enjoyed these moments.

"Then came the dreaded day when my dad announced that we are moving. Dylan and I cried while we hugged each other goodbye. I was saying goodbye to my best friend, and the first person I had ever loved."

I looked up and Sam was crying again. My heart sank in my chest. I wish I could make my friend feel better. I was too scared to pull him into a hug, scared he might act up again.

Sam turned to face me and I could see the thirteen year old boy's pain of saying goodbye to his best friend. It broke my heart and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.

"I never understood the feelings I harbored for Dylan. That was, until today. Blaine, when I hugged you earlier today, I had the exact same feeling I had the evening Dylan kissed my cheek. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. I realized that I felt for you the same I felt for Dylan. But, now I know what that feeling is. I cannot risk being separated from you and not telling you how I felt about you."

"Sam, shhh, you don't have to." I said, pressing my index finger to his soft lips.

Sam brought up his hand, took my wrist and removed my finger from his lips. "But I want to." He said, and with this, Sam's head moved closer to mine. His lips met my cheek and Sam kissed it softly.

"I love you Blaine, and I need you to know that it's not the only a friendship love. I realized today that I love you, the way Finn and Rachel used to love each other. I know that you are engaged to Kurt, and I would never do anything to come between the two of you, but I need you to know, I love you, Blaine Anderson."


	2. Changing Directions

**A/N:**

So, after my first "one shot", I started to enjoy writing in the Glee universe.

This is a follow-up to "Chap Stick". Not sure where this will lead, but let's see.

Blaine is confused after the previous evening's "episode" where Sam kissed him before revealing that he loves Blaine…

I do not own the characters or anything to do with Glee.

*****GLEE*****

Why do I feel this way? Yes, lack of sleep can make one's mind work in different ways, but I am not convinced that one night of restless sleep could make my mind go all scrambled.

Yes, I was awake most of last night, still tasting Sam on my lips. Can't stop thinking about what he'd told me. About his childhood friend, Dylan, and the love Sam felt for him. Then, there was the big shocker, the revelation that Sam loved me, Blaine Anderson.

Ugh! Why didn't Sam realize this before… before I bought the ring… before I proposed to Kurt. And Kurt, I feel horrible. I love Kurt, I really do. I didn't cheat on him, but I allowed Sam to kiss me. Well, technically it was only a peck on the cheek, but still… there was feelings and emotions. And, if it wasn't a big deal, I wouldn't mind telling Kurt about it, but, I can't.

I haven't seen Sam since he left my house last night. Right after he told me that he loved me, he stood up and walked out the door, down the stairs and out the front door. I didn't stop him or ask him to stay, I couldn't, I was too shocked to move, let alone speak or comprehend the things he told me.

So, to clear my mind, I am dancing to the music in my head in the choir room, before the others arrive for Glee practice.

I'm not really thinking about the way I'm dancing, I'm just dancing to try and forget… forget the guilt I'm feeling, forget about Sam's confession, forget about the fact that I wished Sam would have spoken sooner. If he did, I might not have proposed to Kurt. I would not have felt this guilty.

"… on the stage? She was giving it her all." I only heard half the conversation when Jake and Marley walked into the choir room first. "Yes," Marley replied "but I'm not sure that that performance was a good reflection on her upbringing. Just think about how her father must have felt when he saw her and Robin going at it on stage. If she'd been…"

"Hey Jake. Are we still on for this afternoon?" Bree started talking as if Marley didn't exist. "You promised to show me **that** move after school."

Trying to ignore the fact that other people also had problems, I tuned out of that conversation (although I saw in Marley's eyes the hurt and betrayal I've once seen on Kurt's face) and focused on the next group to enter the choir room. Tina, followed by Kitty and Artie.

I walked up to Tina with my mind made up that I needed to talk to someone, and even though she might not be the best choice, she is the only person at McKinley that I can talk to, other than Sam.

"Tina, we need to talk."

"Oh, Blaine" she replied, shocked. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to film you, but you looked so focused and poised that I couldn't help. I promise not to show it to anyone."

"Show what to whom?" I didn't see Sam walk in, and now he was standing opposite me, smiling at me in an apologetic manner.

"The video I've taken of Blaine dancing before we walked into the choir room."

"Wait, what? You recorded me dancing? That was a private moment Tina!" I couldn't believe she'd do that to me. "Delete the recording, right now, Tina Cohen-Chang!"

The situation was turning into a circus. "No, show us the recording, please Tina… Blaine?" Unique prompted.

"Yes, Unique is right." Mr. Schue said from nowhere. "We are competing against Throat Explosion. They are fierce. They are united."

"But mister Schue, what does my private dance have to do with Regional's OR Throat Explosion?" Why is everybody in my face about an illegal recording of a private moment?

"Because, Blaine, sharing amongst ourselves the things we are uncomfortable to share, will bring us closer, unite us. Bring us out of our comfort zones. Class, take a seat. Tina, please share the video with us."

"No, mister Schue" Sam was almost shouting. "Blaine has the right to his privacy, and Blaine has the right to decide whether or when he wants to share anything with anybody. We cannot exploit Blaine's privacy for the sake of unity."

Silence. Nobody said a word. Mr. Schue was looking at Sam, Tina was looking at Mr. Schue, Unique turned around and took a seat next to Marley (who seemed to be crying) and Sam, Sam was looking at me. I knew that Sam understood how I felt. Sam shared something with me last night that he wouldn't be comfortable sharing with anyone else. I realized in that moment that I could not talk to Tina, or anyone else about what happened last night, unless Sam felt comfortable.

*****GLEE*****

"Blaine, wait up" Sam was running after me. We'd just left the choir room and the end of the day meant that I could go back home and think in the safety of my own room.

"Blaine, please, stop!"

I did. As soon as Sam reached me from behind, he put his hand on my shoulder. "Dude, are you okay? We need to talk."

"No Sam, I can't. Not right now. Please let me be. I need to sort things out in my mind." I was about to start walking again, but Sam tightened the grip on my shoulder and half forced me to turn around to face him. I had to look up to meet his eyes. His beautiful green eyes where looking at me with something between hurt, longing and… love?

"Blainy, I am sorry about last night. I shouldn't have told you how I felt. I was selfish, thinking only about my own feelings, ignoring the fact that I might hurt or confuse you."

"Why did you, Sam? Why did you have to tell me? Why only now?" I felt the tears escape from my eyes. _Why did I have to be such an emotional wreck?_

"What do you mean, "_Why only now_"?" Sam's expression change to one of confusion. "Would you have preferred me to mention this to you earlier?"

"Yes Sam, I would, thank you! I would have had choices, given thought before I made rash decisions. But now… now it's too late. Too late to change direction. I am on this path now, and I don't know whether I want to be on it anymore. I love… I love Kurt. He deserves to be loved. He is the sweetest, most honest and humble person. He is my fiancé and… and now…" I couldn't control my voice any longer. I placed my hands over my face and started sobbing.

I felt Sam's arms cover my shaking body. He pulled me to his chest and let me cry into his warm, hard body.

I don't know how long we stood like this. All I know is that I felt safe. Confused. But safe. Sam made me feel safe. But I shouldn't feel like this. Kurt should make me feel safe. But Kurt wasn't here. Why do I feel so lost?

"Come, I'll take you home." Sam said and released me. We walked in silence to the car park. I got into the passenger side of his car and we drove in silence. Somewhere during the drive home, Sam must have placed his hand on my leg. I only noticed when we stopped in front of my house.

Sam killed the engine and looked at me from the driver's seat. "Do you want me to come in?"

I didn't answer; to afraid I'd start crying again. I just nodded.

We walked to the kitchen and I switched on the coffee machine.

Sam took a seat at the kitchen table and watched as I prepare the coffee. "Blainy, I am really sorry. I never intended to cause you this much pain and confusion. I wasn't thinking. Well, actually, I was thinking only about myself."

I placed his coffee on the table in front of him and leaned against the counter, taking a sip from my cup. "Sam, I'm sorry about my breakdown earlier. It's all just so confusing. You knew about my "crush" on you, and you blew me off, in the sweetest way possible, but you still blew me off. I made the decision to get over you. I really had to work hard to get over my crush. I did, even though I still felt warm and fuzzy around you. I made amends with Kurt. We got back together, engaged, mind you. You helped me plan my engagement. You stood by me and encouraged me.

"Then, out of the blue, you tell me that you loved me. Sam, how did you think I'd react?"

Sam didn't look up at me. He stared at his coffee, expressionless.

"Blaine, yesterday, after our Applause performance, when we hugged, and you said it was the Chap Stick, I knew you had to cover up for what I really felt. In my mind, I laughed it off and felt a bit flattered. But, the more I thought about it, I realized that I had secretly enjoyed feeling what I did. That's when I made the connection between my feelings for you and the feelings I had for Dylan. I used to be the one who got, uhm, you know? when I was close to him. I didn't understand then, but last night it all started to make sense to me.

"It was then that I recalled the pain it caused me when I had to leave Dylan behind. It broke my heart to think that soon I'll feel the same pain. I thought that if I told you how I felt about you, it might ease the fear of getting hurt again when eventually we had to leave each other and go our own ways. But I was wrong, and I know it now. It didn't ease anything. In fact, it made it worse, for both of us."

I felt bad for my earlier "breakdown". All the things I said to Sam. Now I understood why Sam did it. Looking at him, sitting at the table, still staring at his coffee, I knew that the things said between us can never be un-said. I had to say something to try and mend our broken friendship.

"What do we do now? We know things we didn't know two days ago. Things have changed. We have changed. The way we see each other have changed. My feelings for Kurt have changed."

Sam shot out of his chair and crossed the floor in a second, standing in front of me again, holding me by my shoulders. "No, don't say that. Blaine, you cannot let this change your feelings for Kurt. I would never forgive myself. Kurt doesn't deserve this."

"Deserve what?"

Both mine and Sam's heads shot up to look at the figure standing in the kitchen door. Kurt had a look of bewilderedness, and I imagine we had the same look on our faces.

"Kurt! Honey, what are you doing here?"

*****GLEE*****


	3. Forgetting

**Chapter 3:**

**A/N**: So, this story is changing as I am writing it. Kurt wasn't meant to be in the kitchen in the previous chapter, I have no idea how that happened, but we'll see how things turn out.

Thank you for reading – and please review.

I do not own Glee or any of the characters.

*****GLEE*****

"What don't I deserve, Blaine?"

Kurt was standing in the door of the kitchen with his arms folded across his chest. He is looking at me with questions in his eyes that I am not sure how to answer.

I walk over to him, put my arms around him and pull him into a tight hug. He is resistant to the hug and keeps his arms folded. Just the thought that I am about to be the cause of Kurt's pain makes me swallow at the lump in my throat.

"Hey Kurt, how are you?" Sam was standing right beside us. I let go of Kurt, still not sure how to answer Kurt's question. "Funny you should walk in while we were talking about you." Sam said with a smile that did not seem genuine. "We were discussing the wedding and Blaine said that he didn't want a big function, something quiet with only family. Knowing that you would want to have all your friends attend, I tried to convince him to reconsider the smaller function. You deserve an event that can compare to Royalty."

I didn't know what to say. How did Sam come up with a lie so easily? How was I going to lie with Sam? I don't want to lie to Kurt…

"Oh! How thoughtful of you Sam, thank you. Seems like you know me better than my fiancé does?" Kurt relaxed and drew me in for a renewed hug.

"As long as it is you standing at the altar next to me, I don't mind how many people attend our wedding. The most important thing is that you are happy."

And I was being honest; I only want Kurt to be happy. But how can I be the one to make him happy when I'm keeping secrets from him?

"Ah Blainy-Days, you are such a romantic." He released me from the hug and walked over to the coffee machine and started to prepare himself a cup. "So, Rachel and I decided to come home for the weekend. We didn't tell anybody, wanted to surprise you and her dad's. We've got some news to share with you."

While Kurt was explaining about the surprise visit, Sam and I stared at each other. We both wanted to finish our conversation.

"I thought you'd have a lot to say about the surprise seeing as you don't particularly like surprises, Blaine."

"At least seeing you here is a very pleasant surprise, so it's not all that bad, right?" I am not exactly sure what Kurt is referring to as I wasn't actually paying attention while he spoke.

"Well, I will leave you two to catch up. I will see you on Monday, Blaine." Sam was looking uncomfortable as he turned to greet Kurt. "It was so nice to see you again Kurt. Say hi to Rachel for me."

"No wait, Sam. Why don't you join us tonight at Breadsticks. Rachel and I will share our news and it would be great if you could be there."

"Cool, what time?"

"Be there at seven thirty." Kurt said with a pleased expression.

Sam gave me one last uncomfortable look before he turned around and left.

I was still staring at the place where Sam stood before he left when Kurt came to stand next to me. "Blaine, is everything OK?" he asked and put his arm around my shoulders. "Seems like you and Sam where a bit uncomfortable?"

"No, nothing's wrong," I lied and forced a smile, "we had a rough week at school and maybe we're just exhausted." I am terrible at lying, especially to Kurt. I turned to face him and took him in my arms. While resting my head on his shoulders, I can't help but remember being this close to Sam, wishing I was holding him tight right now.

"So, tell me what's been going on in Glee. I really miss being part of that family." Kurt said after he released me and walked back to the kitchen table, taking another sip of his coffee.

*****GLEE*****

It's so good to see Rachel. I haven't seen her since the Glee club held a memorial for Finn. She seems to be strong, even though she's lost some weight.

"So Blaine, have you decided to join us in NYC after graduation? It would be so awesome! And then Kurt will be less depressed. You know, he's been a real nagging old lady."

"Oh stop it Rachel, that's not true." Kurt said, but he seemed embarrassed.

"I have sent my application to NYADA, we'll see whether Karmen thinks I've got what it takes."

"You have more than what it takes and I have no doubt that you'll be one of the first to be accepted." Rachel said and threw her arms around my neck, putting her lips to my ears. "We need to chat." she whispered.

I released her from the hug, confused. "So, what's the big news you guys have to share with us?" I had to say something to distract me from the strange interaction between Rachel and myself.

"Yes, please tell us." Sam came walking over and grabbed Rachel up and swung her around. "Oh it's so good to see you."

Rachel's feet touched ground again and she took a step back, inspecting Sam with a smile on her face. "My, Sam, are you seriously still growing? Look how tall you are." I didn't realize it until she said it; Sam seems taller.

Sam seemed to blush. "Seeing as I am not clever, I have to possess other attributes to make people take notice of me." he said with a sheepish smile.

"Oh stop it Sammy, you are clever. Stop putting yourself down like that. " I couldn't help but feel jealous hearing Kurt call him "Sammy". _He is MY Sammy!_ Oh hell, what am I thinking? Sam's not mine, Kurt is.

Sam seemed to notice my discomfort. "So, enough about me; tell us your news."

Kurt and Rachel looked at each other with huge smiles; they looked like two little kids sharing a secret. "You'll have to wait." Rachel cooed. "We'll make the announcement as soon as everybody is here."

Within 30 minutes, Breadsticks where filled with many familiar faces; Rachel's two dads, Kurt's dad and Carole, Tina, Artie and Mr. and Mrs. Schuester. And Santana? I didn't know she'd be here.

"Good evening everybody," came Rachel's voice from a makeshift stage, Kurt standing next to her. "Thank you all for joining Kurt and me tonight, we really appreciate that you could make it with such short notice."

As she spoke, everybody started taking seats. I moved into the seat closest to me. I didn't realize that I almost sat on Sam's lap. He scooted in and made space for me to sit next to him. We shared an intimate look into each other's eyes before I turned my head to focus my attention to Kurt and Rachel.

"We won't make you wait any longer, so we'll just break the news to you." Kurt said, looking at me. I tried my best to give him a loving smile. I could feel the tension from Sam next to me. "So, Rachel, Santana and I started a band. We recruited two more members and without further ado, please welcome on stage, **THE PAMELA LANSBURIES**." Everybody jumped from their seats and cheered as Santana came on stage, followed by another female with long blonde and a male. Judging by his outfit, he must be gay. His make-up was a bit over the top for a straight man.

The intro started playing and I immediately recognized the song.

**"BURN" by ELLIE GOULDING**

**_Dani - _**_We, we don't have to worry bout nothing  
Cause we got the fire, and we're burning one hell of a something_

**_Rachel - _**_They, they gonna see us from outer space, outer space  
Light it up, like we're the stars of the human race, human race_

**_"Starchild" - _**_When the lights turned down, they don't know what they heard_

**_Kurt - _**_Strike the match, play it loud, giving love to the world_

**_Santana - _**_We'll be raising our hands, shining up to the sky_

**_All - _**_Cause we got the fire, fire, fire, yeah we got the fire fire fire_

**_Rachel - _**_And we gonna let it burn burn burn burn_

**_Kurt - _**_We gonna let it burn burn burn burn_

**_Dani - _**_Gonna let it burn burn burn burn_

**_Santana - _**_We gonna let it burn burn burn burn_

**_"Starchild" - _**_We don't wanna leave, no, we just gonna be right now  
And what we see, is everybody's on the floor acting crazy getting lurker to the lights out_

**_Rachel - _**_Music's on, I'm waking up, we stop the vibe, and we bump it up  
And it's over now, we got the love, there's no secret now, no secret now_

**_Dani - _**_When the lights turned down, they don't know what they heard_

**_Santana - _**_Strike the match, play it loud, giving love to the world_

**_Kurt - _**_We'll be raising our hands, shining up to the sky_

**_All - _**_Cause we got the fire, fire, fire, yeah we got the fire fire fire_

**_Kurt - _**_And we can let it burn…_

As soon as Kurt sang the last line, the crowd was on their feet again. I felt Sam's arm brush against mine as we got up. My skin tingled and I looked at him. He smiled his very shy smile and I couldn't help smiling back at him. He was so beautiful.

*****GLEE*****

"Blaine, this is Elliott. Elliott, this is Blaine, my super sexy fiancé." Kurt introduced us.

"Pleased to meet you, Elliott. You guys were fantastic up there. Kurt, I am so proud of you." I leaned over and kissed him full on his lips.

"It's also a pleasure to meet you, Blaine. Kurt's been talking about you so much; it feels like I've known you since your Dalton days." Elliott turned to Kurt. "I can see why you are so depressed without him by your side." Confirmation, he IS gay.

It was 11pm when we left Breadsticks. Kurt is going to spend the night at my house.

I haven't seen Sam since the Pamela Lansbury's performance ended and our arms touched. And Rachel and I didn't get a chance to "have our chat". I wonder what Berry wants?

"Blaine, you've been so distant since this afternoon. Are you sure you're okay?" Kurt broke the silence just before we turned into my driveway.

"Sorry, Honey, I'm fine… really. Like I said, just a bit tired." He seemed to believe me which made me feel so guilty. "So, where did you find Elliott and Dani? They seem great and have so much talent."

"Dani and Santana are dating, but please don't tell anybody. Santana wants to keep it on the low until she knows for sure how she feels about her. They are so sweet together and Dani is really great."

When we finally settled down in my room and sat on the bed I asked Kurt, "And Elliott? You haven't told me how you found him."

"Enough about the band," Kurt seemed anxious to change the subject, "I haven't seen you in three weeks. I just want to be with you and not talk about other people." He pushed me back on the bed and lied down on top of me. Our lips met and I realized how much I've missed him. As we made out on my bed, I forgot about everything that played on my mind. I remembered how much I loved this man of mine.

*****GLEE*****


	4. Regrets

**Chapter 4:**

**A/N:** I do not own Glee or any of the characters.

*****GLEE*****

I am woken early by the beep on my mobile. Lifting my head, I see that Kurt and I fell asleep in each other's arms. I look down at him, lying on my chest, in my arms and I feel so content. I really do love this man. Sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve a wonderful man like him.

I can feel him moving a bit against my body as he starts to wake up. "Good morning, gorgeous."

"Good morning." he greets me with a croak in his voice. "No!" he protests when I come closer to kiss him, "I've got morning breath." I ignore his little moans and continue to kiss him. "Blaine! No!"

"If I'm going to share the rest of my life with you, we might as well start sharing the good and, uhm, the not so good." I couldn't help laughing as he jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"I doubt that I'll ever share my morning breath." He replied as soon as he reached the bathroom door.

Looking at my mobile, I realize that it wasn't me who received the early morning text message. Since I am busy with my phone, I decided to text Rachel: "_Hi Rach, thanx for last night, you guys are really great. We should get together and chat."_ I hit send and as I put my phone down on the dresser, it beeps.

**Rachel:** _Is Kurt there? _(Damn she's quick)

**Me:** _Yes, we just woke up._

**Rachel: **_OK, chat later._

I wonder what's up with her. Just then, Kurt's phone beeped. I tap his screen and see two messages. One sent just now from Rachel and the other from Elliott, sent 10 minutes ago (probably the one that woke me). We do not check each other's phones, so I placed it back on the dresser just as Kurt emerged from the bathroom. "You've got two texts." I said as I passed him on my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"Did you check it?" he asked and seemed pleased when I said no.

"So," I ask at breakfast, "you never got to tell me how you came across _Starchild_." I flattering my eyelashes as I said his name.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt asked, flattering his eyelashes in response.

"Nothing, just that he is obviously gay."

"You know Blaine, for someone who's been the victim of homophobia and of bullying; I thought you'd be the last person to bully someone else on the basis of their sexuality."

"Oh, Honey, I really didn't mean it that way. I guess that was a bit inconsiderate of me." Kurt is right, that was in a way bullying. Kurt stood up from the breakfast table and excused himself to start with his morning moisturizing routine. I cleared the table and did the dishes while still feeling very ashamed of my behavior.

"Blaine," Kurt shouts from the other side of the bathroom door, "I'm going to meet up with Rachel at Lima Bean. Are you joining us when you're done?"

"Why don't you wait for me? I'll only be another 20 minutes or so."

"Rachel asked me to meet her urgently and asked if I could come immediately. You know how she gets when her diva requests are not met. She asked that you join as soon as you are ready."

***** GLEE *****

"One medium drip, please."

While they are preparing my coffee my eyes scan the Lima Bean to find Kurt and Rachel. I see them sitting at a table in the corner. I take my coffee and head on over. "Hey guys. Can I join you?"

"Hey Blaine," Rachel greeted me with a welcoming smile, "yes, please sit down. Kurt and I where just talking about our performance of last night. It was so good being able to perform again."

"You guys where awesome. Especially you, Kurt." I said as I sat down next to him, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"And that's why I love you. You are a real talent spotter." Kurt joked as he placed his hand on my leg.

"Kurt, how is your father and Carole? I'm not yet ready to go and visit them." I could see that it was painful for Rachel to mention them. I cannot imagine how tough Finns death must be on her.

"Oh shoot. I almost forgot. I should meet them at the house at 10. We have some… family business to attend to. Sorry guys, but you'll have to excuse me." Kurt got up and hugged Rachel. "I'll phone you later, love you."

"Drive safe. I'll see you later?" Kurt turned to me and gave me a tight hug.

"Love you too. Yes, I'll come by your house late afternoon."

As soon as Kurt was out of earshot, Rachel's expression changed. I couldn't quite read her. She looked something between angry and sad. She kept her eyes on Kurt until he was out the door.

"Rach, everything okay?"

"We need to talk, Blaine. And I don't want to stick my nose in your business or sound like a nagging hag, but it remains my duty as best friend of Kurt, and very good friend of you to mention that I have noticed things last night that set of warning sirens in my brain. I don't know…"

"Wait, Rachel, slow down. Take a breath. Don't want to pass out due to a lack of oxygen before we get to the point." I could see her inhaling and tried to relax herself. "There, that's better. Now, take it slow and tell me what you saw." I might be wrong, but I have a pretty good idea what this is about. To be honest, I haven't thought of Sam and the things that happened yesterday the whole of today.

"Sam." That's it. I was right. She stared at me with questions and I felt myself go scarlet red.

"Rach, it's not what you think. Me and Sam…"

"You and Sam, what…? I know you've been spending a lot of time together since Kurt's been in NYC, but what, Blaine? When I first saw you last night I could tell that you where not being yourself and after Sam joined the conversation I saw the uneasiness between you two and I knew something happened and I want to know what."

"Nothing happened, well technically speaking, but you're right, something did indeed happen."

"I _knew_ it." She almost shouted with a look of glee on her face.

"But there is nothing more to worry about. It's sorted out and everything is okay." Well, as for me, everything is sorted out. Last night I realized again how lucky I was to have Kurt in my life, as my fiancé, and I no longer dwell on what could have been with Sam. I also know that my infatuation with Sam was brought on by the absence of Kurt. As for Sam, I hope we'll be able to avoid this conversation completely and (in time) be the friends we were before yesterday.

"I can't believe Sam would make a move on you while you are engaged to be married to one of his friends."

"Rachel, it's not like that. Sam didn't make a move on me." Sam's secret will be safe with me. I will not let anybody know about what happened between him and me, nor between him and Dylan. "And besides, Sam is not interested in men in that way." Well, at least not all men.

Rachel looked confused. "But I've always been of the opinion that Sam might go both ways, you know," she leaned over the table and whispered, "bisexual?"

"Sam's not one for labels, Rach, and you know that. And even if he didn't mind labels, I very much doubt he falls under that category."

"But… if he didn't make a move on you, did you try to advance on him?"

"God, Rachel. No. Like I said, it's not like that and I really do not want to discuss this anymore. Please, just drop it. I assure you that you have nothing to be stressed about. Everything's okay. And, after what happened before, I will never make the mistake again to cheat on Kurt."

That seemed to put Berry at ease, for now, but knowing her, she won't just back off the subject.

"So, the Pamela Lansburies, hey? You guys are awesome. And what a great concept!" True to Rachel's form… if you want to change any subject, start talking about Rachel Berry.

"I know, right. Kurt's really outdone himself."

I was taken aback with her statement. "Kurt? I thought, well, I actually assumed that you were the mastermind of the concept."

"I can take credit only for the name. But Kurt started the band after he left the Adam's Apples. He recruited Santana, then Dani and then Elliott. I only joined due to peer pressure. But I am glad I did. It really keeps me busy, you know, keeps my mind off everything else." Rachel seemed to remember the things she tried to keep her mind off. I could see the tears threatening to surface as she gave me her crooked smile. "Most days are better than others. I still speak to him, you know. I don't think I'll ever be able to let go. He was supposed to be there for me, till the end. End Game. That's what he called us."

I got off of my chair and went round the table and took the seat next to her. She looked like a lost little girl in a shopping mall. I put my arm around her, and that's when she started to cry.

"Why, Blaine? Why did he have to leave me? I didn't get the chance to tell him that I loved him, one last time. We get so caught up in our own lives and we tend to neglect the person who's always just been there. Until… until they're not there anymore."

I held her tight and let her cry into my chest. I took out my _handkerchief _and handed it to her.

After a minute or so, she seemed to compose herself. I really had no idea what to say to her. What do you say to someone who lost their soul mate?

"The worst is regrets," she continued. "don't let there be any regrets, Blaine. If you have something to say to anybody, do not put it off." I knew she was hinting at me, and I knew what she was referring to.

After we hugged goodbye outside Lima Bean, I took out my phone and texted Kurt. "_Hey Betheney, come over as soon as you're done. Miss you x._"

**Kurt:** _See you at 6pm. Miss you too, Jason x_

*****GLEE*****


End file.
